Welcome Home
by Tell Her This
Summary: Three times Alyssa Breslin gets a new family. 2/3.
1. Chapter 1

_AN: Hey guys. How's it going? While watching Trauma Team walkthroughs (the game hasn't been released where I live) and lurking on the TT GameFAQ forum, I noticed there were a number of comments questioning why – after the explosion – Alyssa didn't seem affected by the deaths of her parents, and indeed why her parents would even let her play in the yard of CIFM in the first place. I had also been wondering about this, though I realised that Alyssa's parents are never specifically mentioned at any point in the game. Little Guy does say something along the lines of 'It appears she has no living relatives' though that doesn't necessarily mean she wasn't already an orphan at the time of the explosion. I thought it would have been nice to have known the back story for Alyssa before she met Naomi, and that's when this wild plot bunny appeared._

_As always, constructive criticism will be much appreciated._

_Disclaimer: All recognisable characters belong to Atlus._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter One – The McLarens<strong>

The snowflakes float to the ground, twisting and turning like they're caught in mini-tornados. She watches as it begins to pile on the ground, creeping higher and higher up the wall. Maybe it'll go above the window, she thinks. But Alyssa won't be here to see it.

A frown tugs at the corners of her mouth. She loves the snow. When it snows, the ladies let the kids stay out for longer than they should. They all work together to build a snowman and have snow angel competitions. Michael always wins, but that's just because he's the oldest and the tallest and his snow angels are the biggest. And then there are the snowball fights they always have, but Alyssa isn't going to be here to do any of that. She's going to her new family today.

Alyssa's arms tighten around her scruffy brown teddy bear. Benji is Alyssa's lucky charm. He keeps her safe. He's the only thing that Alyssa can call hers in a place where nothing belongs to anyone – not even the children.

The snow is falling faster, the drops getting bigger. The other kids are probably already rolling the base of a snowman.

There's a knock before Mrs Reid snakes her red-haired head around the door. "Alyssa," she says, "Jody and Max are here."

It's supposed to be good news, Alyssa knows, but her heart sinks and the butterflies begin to flutter their wings in her stomach. She hops off her bottom bunk bed for the last time, still clutching Benji tightly. Mrs Reid guides her out the room with a hand at her shoulder blades and leads her to the atrium, where they are.

Jody and Max are the parents picture perfect parents from the adoption brochures the staff sometimes carelessly leave lying around for the kids to find. Or steal. They fit together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Both of them are beaming great big toothy smiles. They're neat in a way the adults in the home never are, wearing smart suits. Jodi has brown hair like Alyssa does and Maxwell has the same colour eyes. They're both nice, too. They don't get cranky like the home staff do. For the last few months they've taken Alyssa on a trip every Sunday. She's been the zoo with them, and the movie theatre. One time they even took her to the carnival. They bought her all the popcorn and cotton candy she wanted though Max reminded her seven times of the importance of brushing and flossing. Alyssa went back the Cumberland County Children's Home feeling nauseous, but Jody and Max are getting to foster her anyway.

One day they might even adopt her.

Jody kneels down to Alyssa's height and extends her arms. Alyssa hugs her like she does any other Sunday, even though this isn't like any other Sunday.

"We finished decorating your room," Max tells Alyssa, messing up her hair. "You'll love it. Are you excited to see it?"

Alyssa nods but, actually, she really likes her room here. She shares with Rachel and Jennifer, and last night they all pretended to be asleep at Lights Out then had a midnight feast.

Rachel and Jennifer say they're going to miss her. Alyssa's going to miss them and the ladies too. There's Mrs Chance and Miss Goldman, who swing the jump rope for them when the weather is nice. Miss Simpson who sometimes pleats Alyssa's hair. And there's Mrs Murray, who turned a blind eye to the feast last night.

"Are you ready, Alyssa?" Jody asks.

The butterflies are flying again. Still, Alyssa nods.

They walk outside and the adults seem disgruntled that the snow has gotten heavier again. Alyssa isn't listening though. She's watching the other kids roll snowballs and find twigs and stones for the snowman without her.

"Go on," Jody says.

Alyssa looks up at her, curious and confused. "What?"

"Go say goodbye to your friends," she repeats. "We need to hold off anyway until the snow eases."

She takes a step to run off toward the others, but something stops her. "Will you look after Benji?"

"Of course," Jodi smiles.

Alyssa hands the teddy bear to Jody and hurries off to help with the snowman. They call him Frosty.

* * *

><p>Alyssa cries all the way in the car. She doesn't want to cry, really. She wants to be excited about going the new family but all she can think about is how she's leaving her friends behind. If the snow keeps up, they're going to try to build an igloo tomorrow and she won't be there to see it.<p>

Sometimes Alyssa just manages to keep the tears from running, but then she looks out the car window and thinks about the things she's going to miss and she starts to cry again.

Even hugging Benji doesn't help.

Jody twists around the passenger seat and flashes Alyssa a comforting smile. "I know you're going to miss them, sweetie," Jody says. "But we'll take you back to visit, and you'll make lots of new friends when kindergarten starts again after Christmas."

Why would she make friends at a new kindergarten when she doesn't have friends at her old one? Nobody plays with the home kids. The normal kids say that they must be bad because nobody loves them. Alyssa's only friends are back at the orphanage.

"You know, there's a ballet school just around the corner from our house and a lot of little girls your age go," Max tells Alyssa, glancing at her through the rear view mirror. It's the only thing he's said since they've got in the car. The snow is still falling, and the roads are difficult so he needs to concentrate. "Maybe you could make some new friends there, too."

"What do you think, Alyssa? Will you start ballet classes?"

It's spoken as a question, but the look on Jody's face makes Alyssa think she doesn't have much choice in the matter. Alyssa doesn't want to disappoint her. "I guess." Alyssa answers, even though she'd much rather play soccer.

"Excellent," Jody beams. "We'll need to get you ballet shoes and a leotard. Oh, they have these adorable little ones in the dancing store on Main Street with the sweetest little tutus."

Up ahead there's a hill. The car tries to climb it, but the wheels spin and slide on the snow beneath them. Alyssa grips on to her seat belt tightly as Max fights with the car to get it to climb. It doesn't work though. The car only slips back down the hill to the flat.

"Damn it," Max grumbles. "We're going to have to walk to the house." He somehow manages to steer the car to the side.

Alyssa's car door opens and she hops out. Before her feet can hit the ground, she's being lifted up by Max.

"We can't let the little princess' feet get cold, can we?" He says.

Nobody's ever carried her anywhere before.

It still takes a while for them to make it to the house, by which time they're all freezing and their hair is wet with melted snow. Situated on a quiet street (and not a main road like the home is), Jody and Max's house is big and it has its own garden out the front with a tree in the centre.

"Maybe tomorrow, we can build our own snowman," Jody says as she unlocks the front door.

When they get in and once they're all changed in to dry clothes, Jody and Max show Alyssa around her new house. In the living room there are silver banners on the walls saying 'Welcome Home. Jody hands Alyssa a welcome home card from people who sign themselves as Aunt Madeleine and Uncle Stewart.

Alyssa doesn't know anybody called Madeleine or Stewart.

Jody and Max take Alyssa upstairs to her room next. (She gets a room all to herself; she can barely believe it.) The wallpaper is pink with shoes and dresses and princess tiaras on, and the toy box in the corner is filled to the top with Barbie dolls and accessories.

"What do you think?" Jody asks.

"I like it." Except Alyssa doesn't like pink and she doesn't play with Barbie dolls. She likes blue and plays with GI Joe and kicks the soccer ball around in the orphanage yard. That's all they have at the home.

Alyssa's sure she told Jody that she doesn't like Barbie dolls.

They all go downstairs again and Jody begins to make dinner. She's making macaroni cheese – Alyssa's favourite. Alyssa continues to take in her new surroundings.

On the mocha walls of the dining room there are lots of photos of another little girl. She's got dark hair like Alyssa but her eyes are blue. There's a photo of her on a swing, grinning and being pushed by Max. Another one of her at the beach, sitting on a towel being hugged by Jody. And there's another picture of this girl standing in a ballet pose, wearing a pink tutu and leotard.

"Who's that?" Alyssa asks.

Max frowns. His eyes begin to fill with sad tears. "Her name was Lilly."

* * *

><p>Alyssa has been away from the children's home for four months now. She hasn't been back to visit her old friends yet, but she's made tonnes of new ones at kindergarten. She's become used to the pink in her room and all the pink dresses that Mom makes her wear.<p>

She plays with the Barbie dolls now, too. Her favourite one is Doctor Barbie. She wears a long white coat and carries a stethoscope around her neck. Mom and Dad even got Alyssa a dress-up set to match. Alyssa's going to wear it to Sarah Anderson's fancy dress party on Saturday.

This morning after breakfast, Mom and Dad say they have important news for Alyssa. She's going to be a big sister. Mom is going to have a baby.

Alyssa doesn't smile. "Why do you need a baby when you have me?"

Mom's eyebrows lower into a scowl and Alyssa gets grounded for a week. She's not even allowed to go to Sarah's birthday party. Alyssa doesn't understand why. All she did was ask a question.

When her punishment is over, Alyssa is taken around baby store after baby store, trailing after Mom and Dad as they look at cots and prams and ignore Alyssa.

Today's no different.

Not that Alyssa expected it to be.

Now, Mom's tummy is swollen and she's always complaining that she can't see her feet. She gets tired a lot too. Sometimes Mom snaps when Alyssa asks questions, especially when she asks if they can go some place other than Mothercare or Baby World or The Stork's Shop. Those places are far more important than anywhere that Alyssa wants to go to.

Mom has been shopping all morning. She ordered a pram from The Stork Shop and now she's looking at cribs in Mothercare, since she didn't see any she liked in the first store.

Alyssa's legs hurt from traipsing after Mom for hours without a break to sit down. She doesn't tell Mom this though. Mom'll just tell her to stop complaining. Her back always aches, after all, and she doesn't complain about it. Alyssa tries to disregard her aching legs, but she can't ignore the fact that she hasn't been to the bathroom since she left home and now she really needs to pee.

Mom is busy inspecting the white crib with the rocking horse feet and the purple blanket.

Alyssa tries to get her attention. "Mom?" she asks politely, though when she receives no response, Alyssa tugs at Mom's yellow jacket. "Mom I need the bathroom."

"Not now Alyssa." Mom scolds, before interrupting a passing saleswoman. "Excuse me, how long is delivery on this?"

"Four weeks," she replies. "How many weeks until your due date?"

It's nine. Even Alyssa could tell her that. It's all Mom goes on about now. Even at the big family dinner with Aunt Madeleine and Uncle Stewart to celebrate Alyssa's first dancing show, it was all Mom talked about. Alyssa's performance barely got a passing mention

The old woman with the curly white hair grins at Mom. "You must be getting pretty excited."

"Yes, we are."

Then she looks down at Alyssa. "And is this your daughter?"

"Yes."

"Wow. You must be pretty excited about being a big sister, huh?"

"Mhmm." Actually, she's not, Alyssa has been asked the same question often enough for her to rehearse the correct response. The first time she was, Alyssa said no. She got grounded again. "Mom, I need to go to the bathroom."

"In a minute, Alyssa," Mom says, with a hand gesture telling Alyssa to shut up to go along with it. "So does this crib come with the mattress?"

"No, the mattress is sold separately."

From then, Alyssa tunes out of the conversation. A minute passes, and then two and before long Alyssa has had enough of waiting. If Mom won't take her to the bathroom then Alyssa will have to take herself. That's always what Mom and Dad are saying. Once the baby arrives, Alyssa will have to learn to do things on her own because Mom and Dad will be busy looking after Baby.

She looks up at Mom and the old woman. They're still talking and not paying any attention to anything Alyssa's doing. She walks off by the teddy bears and the baby clothes and before Alyssa realises it, she's standing at the entrance to the store. She looks left and she looks right, but there isn't a bathroom anywhere she looks.

Alyssa looks over her shoulder. Mom's still talking to the sales woman, so Alyssa takes a few steps out of the store. She still can't see a bathroom, so she decided to take a few steps to the right. There's not a bathroom there either, so Alyssa keeps walking.

She eventually finds a girls bathroom in a doorway between Forever 21 and J.. When she's done, Alyssa wanders off the same way she came, stopping on her way to look in the window of the Disney store. The display has a big stuffed toy of the lion from the old film that Dad watches with her. Alyssa asked if she could get the Simba for her birthday. She didn't.

She continues walking, taking a left at the McDonalds then a right at Macy's. The Mothercare store is right by the Toys R Us.

Except when she gets to the Toys R Us, the Mothercare isn't there.

Alyssa looks to the left and to the right and behind her and in front again and the Mothercare still isn't there. She walked back the exact way she went, so how can the Mothercare store not be there anymore?

Panic swells in Alyssa's stomach. She can't think of anything else to do but to keep on walking. The denim and nylon covered legs of passersby tower by her and obstruct her view as she searches frantically for something to tell her which way to go.

It's when she finds her way back to Toys R Us for the third time that it finally hits her.

She's really lost.

Being lost is something she's heard about in bad dreams and scary books. Being lost is what happens to people who misbehave. Alyssa's a good girl. She shouldn't get lost.

Except she really is lost.

Mom'll be looking for her. Mom'll be worried about her.

Mom will be so mad at Alyssa for wandering off.

The more Alyssa walks around to find Mom, the more lost she becomes. So Alyssa makes her way to the wall and sits on the cold metal railing that runs along it at ankle height. She cries.

* * *

><p>Alyssa isn't sure how much time has passed before the man walks over and kneels down in front of her. The baseball cap on his head is black and has white letters saying 'SECURITY' on it. The name badge which hangs from his neck has the mall logo on it.<p>

"You must be Alyssa, right?" he says to her calmly, ignoring her crying. "I'm Christopher."

Alyssa doesn't answer and keeps her eyes fixed on the white and blue tiles of the floor.

"Let me guess. You're not allowed to talk to strangers?"

Not taking her eyes off the ground, Alyssa nods timidly.

"Well, that's good advice your Mom gave you. You know she's got people looking all over the mall for you. She's really worried about you."

Alyssa lifts her head and looks into the man's big blue eyes. "Is she gonna be mad?"

Chris chuckles. "No, kid. She's just going to be relieved you're alright."

Somehow, Alyssa doesn't believe him.

The security guard unhooks the walkie-talkie from his shirt pocket. "I've found the kid. She's over by the emergency exit," he says into it. "Your mom's going to be here soon, okay?"

Alyssa nods, but it doesn't make her feel any better. Mom's going to be mad.

When Mom eventually waddles over, Alyssa runs to her and hugs her. It's a cuddle filled with apology and relief.

Mom doesn't hug her back. She thanks the security guard for his help, and then they walk back to the car.

And that's when all anger breaks loose.

"What the hell were you thinking, wandering off like that?" Mom yells as Alyssa fastens her seatbelt. She turns the key in the ignition and reverses out of the spot without her usual carefulness. The engine roars as she accelerates harshly.

"I'm sor-"

"Do you have any idea how stupid that was?"

"Mom, I –"

"You're grounded for a week."

Alyssa's shoulder's drop and her eyes roll. "Again?" she whines.

"Do not speak back to me, Alyssa, or so help you God," Mom screams, even angrier than she was before. "This is the last thing I need right now. Goodness sake, it's not good for me or the baby."

Now Alyssa feels guilty too. "I'm so-"

"I don't want to hear it, Alyssa."

So Alyssa doesn't speak at all during the journey home.

Alyssa's sent straight to her room. Though it's like she runs straight there for fear of the row she's going to get when Dad hears about her running off. She slams the door closed behind her and hugs on to Benji tightly. She waits for the thud of Dad's footsteps climbing the stairs. The thing is, they never approach, and Alyssa can hear just the faintest of mumblings of voices downstairs.

Maybe the storm is over. Maybe Mom will have calmed down enough for Alyssa to apologise like she wanted to in the car. She never meant to scare Mom and she certainly didn't want to do anything to hurt the baby.

Alyssa creeps downstairs, holding on to Benji's paw, until she can hear Mom and Dad's voices more clearly. Mom still sounds angry, so Alyssa sits on the stairs. She'll listen for Mom calming down before she goes into the living room.

"I don't know how much more of that girl I can handle-" Mom says.

"She wandered off once." Dad sounds mad too. "She's five years old. Kids wander."

"Lilly never wande-"

"Lilly spent most of her life in a hospital bed. She would have wandered off as well."

"And the attitude that girl gave me? You know Lilly-"

"Stop comparing Alyssa to Lilly. And stop calling her That Girl. God, if I'd realised that the only reason you wanted to adopt a child was to replace Lilly, I never would have agreed to it."

So that's why Mom and Dad got her. To replace Lilly.

Suddenly, Alyssa doesn't feel so guilty about wandering off. She gets of her seat on the step and climbs back up the stairs.

"Alyssa?"

Alyssa turns around. Mom's standing at the foot of the stairs, staring up at her. She looks sheepish.

Mom doesn't say anything else, so Alyssa continues her ascent to her room.

* * *

><p>They never talk about Alyssa heard that day. In fact, when Alyssa next went down for dinner Mom grinned and pretended like nothing had ever happened. She doesn't drag Alyssa to the baby shops anymore. When Mom goes shopping, Dad takes Alyssa swimming or bowling or to the amusement park – all the things Mom and Dad used to do with her before they took her from the orphanage.<p>

They act as if Alyssa doesn't remember what was said. She does.

Mom and Dad argued last night. Mom said Dad wasn't showing interest in the new baby, and with two weeks before it's born, he really should. Alyssa guesses that means she'll have to go to the baby shops again too.

After breakfast Dad told her to get ready to go out. He didn't say where to though. He doesn't really need to.

While she waits for Mom and Dad to be ready, Alyssa plays with Doctor Barbie and Benji. Benji has a broken arm so Doctor Barbie has to bandage it up. Alyssa hasn't finished wrapping Benji's arm in toilet roll when Dad appears at the door.

"You ready to go?" he asks.

"Uh-huh." Alyssa puts Benji and Doctor Barbie comfortably on her bed by her pillow. "Are we going shopping with Mom?"

"Nah. We're going to the arcade."

"Really?" Alyssa's excited but the feeling doesn't last long. "Won't Mom be mad?"

"Not at you."

Alyssa decides that the arcade might be her new favourite place. Dad lets her play on the Dance Dance Revolution machine even though she's not really big enough to play and can barely see the screen for the moves. Dad even has a go and Alyssa can't stop laughing when he nearly trips over his own feet about a million times. And Alyssa got to race against Dad on the classic Mario Kart machine. She thinks Dad might have let her win because he kept driving over the traps she left.

Now they're at the arcade burger place, which is good since Alyssa's really hungry.

She dips a fry into her ketchup. "How come Mom gets mad at me all the time?" she asks, since Mom's not here to get mad at her for asking.

Dad sighs. "She's just tired. Being pregnant is tough on her," he says sadly. "You know that when the baby arrives, it's going to need a lot of attention and Mom will be mostly focused on the baby. But that doesn't mean she doesn't love you. Babies just need a lot of extra care."

"Did Lilly need lots of attention too?"

Dad's eyes widen. It's the first time Alyssa's ever asked about Lilly. "Yeah. She did. But Lilly was really sick, and Mom... Mom's going to be overprotective of the new baby when it arrives. And it might seem at times as if she cares for the new baby more than she cares for you, but that isn't true."

"Is the new baby going to replace me?"

"No, of course not," Dad answers quickly. Then his voice lowers. "I know you heard what I said to Mom when we were arguing about you being a replacement for Lilly. I shouldn't have said that. It's not true. I was mad at Mom and I said something to hurt her. But it is not true. We absolutely wanted you in our family because you're you. Understand?"

Alyssa nods. That doesn't explain why Mom gets angry at her though. And if it isn't true then why did Dad say it? She doesn't ask though. She doesn't want Dad to get mad at her too. Instead: "Can we bring the new baby to the arcade too?"

Dad laughs. "We need to wait until the baby gets older for that."

* * *

><p>Unusually for a summer morning, it's still dark when Alyssa wakes up. It takes her a few moments to realise that it isn't morning at all and that the reason she has awoken is because Dad is shaking her.<p>

"Come on sweetie," he says. "We've got to go."

Alyssa sits up and tries to rub the sleep from her eyes. "Huh?"

"We've got to go to the hospital," Dad tells her, pulling her up by the arm. "Mom's having the baby."

"Oh. Okay," Alyssa responds through a yawn. She trudges downstairs, still half asleep. She finds her shoes and slips her jacket on over her pyjamas before going to the car.

The next thing Alyssa realises is that it's light now, and she's wakening up on... is this a bench? Alyssa looks up. There are other people sitting on the benches behind hers. Some of them are sleeping. Glancing to her left, Alyssa notices the blonde woman sitting next to her.

"Aunt Madeleine?"

Aunt Madeleine sweeps the hair away from Alyssa's face. "Morning, kid."

"Where are we?"

"We're at the hospital, love."

"Why?"

"Because Jody had her baby."

Before Alyssa has time to register the situation, Dad appears around the corner. He walks over and lifts Alyssa from the bench. "Sleeping Beauty's awake now, is she? You want to meet your sister?"

Alyssa nods.

Dad carries her along the yellow corridor. The walls have storks on them carrying babies swaddled in blue and pink blankets painted on them. Dad puts her back on the ground with a jump when they get to Mom's room.

Mom is lying in the hospital bed. She looks exhausted and her hair is messily scraped back in a ponytail, but she's holding the baby and grinning like Alyssa has never seen before.

"Hi Alyssa," she says. "Do you want to meet the baby?"

Alyssa nods, and climbs on to the chair beside Mom's bed.

The baby's face is red and scrunched up. She has really tiny fingers that she curls around the pink blanket she's swaddled in. Her eyes skate around the room, taking in all the new sights. At one point Alyssa thinks the baby looks directly at her.

"What's her name?"

Mom smiles. "It's Olivia."

"Hi, Olivia."

Alyssa has to admit, Olivia is kind of cute.

* * *

><p>Dad was right; once Olivia came home Mom didn't pay much attention to Alyssa. Alyssa didn't complain though. She knew that it was because Olivia was little and needed a lot of looking after. But Alyssa was still upset that Dad didn't take her to the arcade again like he promised.<p>

Olivia's older now. She can walk and she can say some words. But Mom and Dad still don't pay much attention to Alyssa. They're always too busy arguing. They try not to shout at each other, but Alyssa can still hear the nasty words they exchange.

But it's okay that Mom and Dad don't notice Alyssa much, because she and Olivia are good friends. They have each other.

Mom and Dad are arguing in the kitchen again. Alyssa's on the couch in the living room, looking at her book and pretending not to listen to them.

Olivia toddles over to where Alyssa sits and holds out her hand. "Walk?"

Since she's been able to hold herself up on her two feet, Olivia's liked to walk around everywhere holding on to Alyssa's hand.

"Okay, Livvy." Alyssa sighs like it annoys her, but really she enjoys it too. Sometimes Alyssa imagines they're walking through the jungle looking for lions and tigers and monkeys. Sometimes she thinks about the forest. Today, she's picturing the desert and their feet slipping and sliding over the sand as it falls away from under them.

Next thing, they're both on the floor.

Before Alyssa realises what has happened, Olivia is crying and Mom and Dad have both raced out of the kitchen.

Mom storms over, eyebrows furrowed. "What did you do to her, Alyssa?" She growls.

"Nothing," Alyssa insists. "I don't know what happened."

"You should have been more careful."

"But I didn't do anything."

Mom throws Alyssa the meanest blame-filled look imaginable as she lifts Olivia from the floor. "Are you okay, baby? Tell Mommy what happened" She carries Olivia to the kitchen where Mom and Dad fawn over her.

Alyssa sits where she is, rubbing at the sore lump that's building on her forehead and looking down at Mom's handbag sitting in a tangle by her feet in the middle of the floor.

* * *

><p>And yet again Mom and Dad arguing downstairs. They still argue in the kitchen, but now they argue at night too when they think Alyssa and Olivia are asleep and can't hear them. The arguing gets so bad some night that Alyssa can't get to sleep. On those nights, Alyssa sneaks through to Olivia's room. Olivia's normally awake too, but Mom and Dad don't realise it.<p>

Tonight is a bad night. The shouting is extra loud and Alyssa's sure she heard a glass being thrown against a wall.

Alyssa opens her bedroom door just enough for her to check that nobody's standing at the bottom of the stairs. She checks even though she can hear that Mom and Dad are still in the kitchen. The wooden floor is cold under Alyssa's feet and she's thankful for the warmth of the carpet when she steps into Olivia's room.

Olivia's awake and standing against the railing in her crib.

"Hey Livvy. You okay?"

Olivia can't answer clearly, not when she's got her pacifier in, so Alyssa talks anyway.

"It's scary listening to Mom and Dad argue like that. That's why I brought you Benji." Alyssa lifts the teddy bear over the cot side, and Olivia takes a grip of his paw. "He'll protect you when Mom and Dad argue. Benji's special. He's always kept me safe, but you should have him just now."

Another glass is smashed and it causes Alyssa to jump.

"It'll all get better soon," Alyssa tells her sister. "I promise it'll get better."

* * *

><p>It doesn't. The arguing only gets worse. Mom and Dad argue at night, argue at dinner, argue in the car as they take Alyssa to kindergarten. They don't speak any more, because when they do it invariably boils over into a fight. And every time that happens, Mom yells at Dad because they're arguing in front of <em>Olivia<em>, even though Alyssa sitting right there beside her helping her play with the plastic food set Mom and Dad bought her for Christmas. Mom speaks as if the arguing doesn't upset Alyssa too. It does.

One morning, Alyssa even sneaked out of her room early to get a cookie from the kitchen and found that Dad was sleeping on the sofa in the living room.

Every Thursday night, a strange man visits the house. He wears a black suit and carries a briefcase, and every time he visits Alyssa is sent upstairs and told under no circumstances to go downstairs. Instead of playing with her dollies like Mom suggests, Alyssa sits on the third step and listens in. (She's not all the way down, so she's not breaking any rules.) Mom, Dad and the man talk about something called divorce, which seems to mean that they're deciding which of the stuff in the house belongs to each person. The car is Dad's, but Mom gets to keep the house so the disruption to the kids is minimal. Even though the house is Mom's, Dad still has to help pay for it until Mom gets her own job. It's called alimony.

It's Thursday night again, but instead of the divorce man at the door, it's Mrs Reid from the orphanage. She smiles at Alyssa.

Alyssa smiles back, but she's confused. Mrs Reid hasn't been around since before Livvy was born.

"Alyssa, go up to your room please," Mom instructs.

And so Alyssa does. But she doesn't play with her Barbies as she would any other Thursday night while she waits for the safety to return to the step.

Something's not right. Mrs Reid shouldn't be here.

Alyssa doesn't stay upstairs for as long as she should. For some reason, she feels like she can't. She hurries down the steps, careful not to make noise.

The living room door is closed, but Alyssa can hear every word the adults are saying.

"You both have to be onboard for Child Services to agree to let you adopt Alyssa," Mrs Martin says, in that punishing way Alyssa remembers from the time she and Jennifer trailed mud all around the orphanage. "And from what I can see-"

"I still want to adopt Alyssa."

"Oh you must be kidding," Mom snarls. "You want to adopt that child, but who'll have to look after it? Me."

"Look, Child Services isn't going to let a couple in the middle of an obviously bitter divorce adopt a child."

"Well, that's fine, because Olivia has to be my priority anyway," Mom says, "Olivia is my only priority, and she should be yours. Alyssa has to be returned."

"_Returned? _ Go on Jody. Try to sound more callous."

"I can't raise a child that isn't mine."

"You can be the one to tell her that."

"None of this would have happened if you hadn't been fucking your secretary. This is your fault."

"And yet, you're punishing the five-year-old who loves you."

The living room door is thrown open so forcefully that it recoils from the hinges. Max walks out. His face is red and he shakes with anger. The scowl on face turn quickly from shock to anger and then consternation when he notices the Alyssa on the stairs.

"How long have you been sitting there?" he asks dreadfully

Alyssa looks away, focus on the indents in the front door. "You're sending me back to the home, aren't you?"

Max is silent, and that says enough. Because if it wasn't true and Alyssa wasn't being sent back to the home then he'd be quick to reassure her.

"I'm sorry," he eventually tells her.

Alyssa pulls herself to a stand and turns her back on Max. "No you're not."

* * *

><p>Alyssa doesn't sleep. It's not that she doesn't want to; she just can't.<p>

She hasn't been out of her room since Max spoke to her, not even to say goodbye to Mrs Reid. What's the point? She's going to see her tomorrow when she goes back.

Neither Jody nor Max has been in to speak to her. Alyssa doesn't want to speak to them anyway.

She tosses and turns, but still she can't sleep.

She'll be going back to the home in the morning. Max will take her back as early as possible, which is good because Alyssa doesn't want to be here anyway. The people she called Mom and Dad don't love her any more.

Maybe they never did.

Alyssa switches on her bedroom lamp. Jody always tells her off for putting the light on after light's out, but who cares about that now? She looks at the collection of Barbies she's leaving behind. She can't take anything back with her to the home. The toys would just get damaged there anyway. It wouldn't take long before somebody would pull the legs off it.

She won't be allowed to go to ballet class anymore, either.

She tosses her duvet off of her and slides her legs off the edge. Her feet find her slippers quickly. The slippers are so her feet don't get cold on the tiles. She won't need them when she goes back to the home.

Jody went into her own room a while ago. Alyssa will need to be quiet as she walks by.

Alyssa pushes the door to Olivia's room open. When she makes it to the cot side, she frowns.

Olivia is asleep, her pudgy arm wrapped around Benji.

"I have to go tomorrow," Alyssa whispers, being careful not to wake her up. "I'm going to miss you, Livvy. But we'll still be friends, so it's okay. I better go back before Jod- your mom realises I'm here and gets mad. Make sure Benji is okay. Bye Livvy."

Alyssa shuffles out of Olivia's room, back to her own for the last time.

* * *

><p>The rain batters against the windscreen. Alyssa heard it begin during the night when she should have been sleeping.<p>

She left the house before breakfast. Jody didn't say goodbye to her.

It's okay. Alyssa didn't want to see her anyway.

Max is driving. He hasn't said anything to her all morning, but every few minutes Alyssa sees him glance at her in the rear view mirror.

Alyssa doesn't cry in the car, not like she did when Max and Jody took her from the home in the first place. Alyssa thinks that maybe it's because all her tears have run out from crying last night in her room.

Max glances in the mirror again. "I really am sorry."

Alyssa turns to look out the window. Raindrops race each other to the bottom. "Whatever."

Nothing else is said. When they get to the orphanage, Alyssa gets out the car without saying goodbye to Max.

Little has changed since she left the orphanage, though now there's a proper soccer goal over by the hedge. The kids are over there playing. Some of them she recognises. Some she doesn't.

Miss Simpson isn't here anymore either. Mrs Reid says she moved for a new job in Connecticut. Alyssa wonders who pleats the girls' hair now.

Mrs Reid directs Alyssa back to her old room. She tells Alyssa that Jennifer has gone to a new family, but Rachel is still here. There's also a new girl called Megan, who Mrs Reid thinks Alyssa will get on really well with.

"And dinner tonight is macaroni cheese," Mrs Reid says as she helps Alyssa put the few things she brought home with her into her drawers. "I remember that was your favourite."

That's better than Jody, Alyssa thinks. When she was pregnant with Livvy, Jody had got it into her head that Alyssa's favourite food what spaghetti carbonara. Alyssa didn't correct her for fear of being grounded again.

After her things are unpacked, Alyssa makes her way outside to play with the other kids. She doesn't want to – right now she'd like to nap – but Mrs Reid says it'll be good for her to say hello to everyone again. They're all still by the soccer goal. Michael is the goalie now. He's even taller that Alyssa remembers him being.

The kids Alyssa can identify seem surprised to see her. Michael passes the soccer ball from the goal to Alyssa's feet. Taking aim, Alyssa swings her leg back and it's only when the older kids are cheering her for making the goal that Alyssa realises she'd forgotten what it felt like to belong.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Mrs Farnsworth**

Alyssa is seven when she leaves the home again. This time it isn't because someone wants to take _her, _but because the home is being closed down and there is someone registered who is willing to take a seven to nine year old girl.

The staff ladies at the home cry their eyes out as one by one the children leave to their new homes, this time for good. Alyssa is one of the last ones to go. She doesn't even meet Mrs Farnsworth before she is transferred out. When she arrives, Mrs Farnsworth greets her with a sneer and tells her to put her shit up stairs and keep quiet.

Mrs Farnsworth has old lady wrinkles on her face and she's round like a beach ball. Her hair is an unnatural shade of red, like the colour of the stop light, though some flashes of grey show through. She's obviously just taking in a foster kid for the extra cash so she can sit on her backside and watch television all day. She doesn't care about Alyssa either. The only time Alyssa sees Mrs Farnsworth is when she calls Alyssa for dinner, and even then Alyssa eats in her bedroom while Mrs Farnsworth is in the living room watching TV.

Here Alyssa has her own room again, but it's boring. Her room at the orphanage was nicer than the one she has here. At least the walls were painted a placid yellow. This room is clinical white. It has a dresser and a bed and that's it. There's nothing to do. No games to play and no books to read. Back at the orphanage, Alyssa didn't have her own games or books either but she got to share with the other kids. At least there was always something she could do. And there was a TV that they would all gather round. Mrs Farnsworth doesn't let Alyssa watch the TV here. _Children should be out of sight, out of mind,_ she said. _Now get away._

The boredom was easier to cope with before school closed for summer. Alyssa doesn't have any friends (none of the kids in her new class will talk to her and she lost all her old friends when the home closed down), but at least she had homework and reading to keep her occupied. She spends most of her time in the garden now. That way she can't get yelled at by Mrs Farnsworth. There isn't anything to do in the garden either. It's just a small patch of grass, really. There are some overgrown bushes and small trees in a shrubbery patch in the corner, and there's a messy hedge which surrounds the garden but that's it. At least there's enough room to kick her soccer ball around. The ladies at the orphanage gave her it before she left, but it's not as much fun when there's nobody to kick the ball back. The satisfaction of feeling the thud against the side of her foot has to be enough.

Listlessly, Alyssa trudges across the garden to where the hedge has trapped her soccer ball. She used to love to play soccer – she was even going to try out for the girls' team at her old elementary – but now the enjoyment is disappearing. If only she had something else to do, or an opponent to play against.

She aligns the ball to the bridge of her red-shoed right foot then shuffles herself away from the house. Now she doesn't care where she's aiming at, just as long as she can't smash any windows.

The ball launches off the ground and keeps rolling when it comes back down to earth right through-

Oh crap.

As she runs, Alyssa wonders what the chances are that the ball would find its way under the one hole in the hedge and out of the garden.

She's never seen into the neighbour's garden before. Mrs Farnsworth often visits the next door neighbour to drink coffee, but Alyssa is never allowed to go. She's left out in the garden.

The house on this side isn't a house at all. It's like a huge office building.

Alyssa grabs the soccer ball, rolls it under the hedge and crawls back in to Mrs Farnsworth's garden.

Later, she tip-toes into the sitting room, where she's not meant to be.

"What?" Mrs Farnsworth snarls, without looking around at her.

"What's that building over there?" Alyssa asks tentatively.

"It's the forensic medicine lab. Now piss off. I'm trying to watch Farewell Danny."

* * *

><p>It takes a few more pestering questions for Mrs Farnsworth to tell Alyssa that in the forensic lab, there are law enforcement officers who solve crimes and doctors who help them.<p>

Alyssa doesn't have her soccer ball to play with anymore. A wayward punt sent it on a trip into the overgrown bushes, bringing back with it a puncture as a souvenir. It's funny. She was getting sick of playing soccer before, but now that she can't she really misses it.

There's no way Mrs Farnsworth would buy Alyssa a replacement.

Now to keep the boredom away, Alyssa sometimes watches the happenings of the forensics lab through the hole in the hedge. It's not much, but at least it's something to do which keeps her out of Mrs Farnsworth's way. Alyssa thinks it's like watching a completely different world, an outside where the people aren't trapped in a boring house like she is by the prison wall hedge.

As usual, the tall man in the brown suit leaves the office soon after Alyssa lies down on the grass. His head is held high and he carries an air of respect, like the school principal who everyone likes but are all a little scared of at the same time. He'll return to the building in a few minutes with a large Starbucks cup in hand. Soon after that, the two police officers make their way through the garden. They make jokes that Alyssa doesn't understand.

And there's the woman again, the one with the half tied back silver hair and the red lipstick on her pale face. Her high heels click against the concrete as she hurries out of the garden.

The woman hasn't been here long. It's only in the last few weeks that Alyssa has seen her around. There's something about her that's just... different from all the other workers, though Alyssa can't figure out what it is. The first time Alyssa saw her, she was being followed out of the building by a blond man who clearly annoyed her because she barked at him to go back inside. She'd fill him in on the details of the crime when she returned, she told him. Then, when she returned to the forensics building, she got mad at him for waiting outside for her. _('I am perfectly capable of making my own way to the morgue, Little Guy,' _she'd snarled at him_. _He responded with an awkward '_Sorry, Doctor._) Now, he doesn't seem to annoy her as much, because Alyssa sometimes sees them walking out of the building together before verging off in opposite directions and they always say goodbye to each other.

Still, Alyssa wonders what it was he did to annoy the woman and why it is she always looks so sad.

* * *

><p>Mrs Farnsworth has gone to the next-door neighbour's again. She and Mrs Fitzgerald next door will be drinking coffee and playing online bingo until they run out of credit, so it will be hours before she's back.<p>

Alyssa is left out in the garden until then. The blue sky is clouding over. Hopefully it won't rain though. She kneels down in front of the hedge like normal, but today Alyssa's not alone. Two yellow eyes are staring back at her.

The cat seems just as surprised by Alyssa as Alyssa is by it. It lifts its nose from underneath its silky black tail. The pink heart-shape on its face twitches as it eyes Alyssa curiously.

"Hey kitty," Alyssa whispers so as not to startle it. "I'm Alyssa. What's your name?"

The cat stares at her, making no motion to run away.

Back at the orphanage, Animal Rescue was one of favourites on the shared TV. The ladies used to say it was the only time they could get all the kids to be quiet. Despite knowing she shouldn't do this with an animal she doesn't know – it could scratch or bite her or have fleas – Alyssa held her hand out for the cat to sniff it. Cats recognise people by their scent, Alyssa remembers. It's how they say hello. After the cat has had a few seconds to get to know her, Alyssa beings to stroke its short black fur.

The cat purrs.

Alyssa feels for the cat's collar. It isn't wearing one, which probably means it is a stray. Either that or its collar has been snapped off by a rouge tree branch and it has a microchip under its skin that gives its owner's details. Alyssa would need to take the kitty to the vet to find that out, and there's no way Mrs Farnsworth will let her do that.

"You're cute," Alyssa says to the cat while she strokes her head. "Cats are my favourite animals, you know. But Mrs Farnsworth will never let me get one. She's mean and she doesn't like animals. I don't think she likes me much either," Alyssa sighs.

A broken branch is lying in between Alyssa and the cat.

"Do you like to play, kitty?" Alyssa asks, picking it up.

Alyssa drags the stick along the ground, changing direction quickly and frequently. It takes a few attempts for the kitty to become interested in the game, but eventually she inches out into Mrs Farnsworth's garden.

The cat lowers herself to the grass, looking like she's crawling along on her belly. Her eyes are completely focused on the branch, tracing every swish along the ground. When she's getting ready to pounce, she lifts her back end off the ground and wiggles it before she springs into action. When Alyssa lifts the stick from the grass, the cat raises itself on its hind legs and swipes at the leaves with its front paws.

Alyssa is laughing so much at the cat that she doesn't hear the back door of Mrs Farnsworth's house open.

"What the hell is that thing doing in my yard?"

Mrs Farnsworth's roar causes Alyssa to jump in fright and the cat to scurry under the hedge in a blur. She marches towards Alyssa. "You stupid girl," she snarls, giving Alyssa a clip around the ear for good measure. "Get inside."

Alyssa does as Mrs Farnsworth says without question. The slap still stings at Alyssa's ear long after, though it doesn't stop Alyssa sneaking into the kitchen later when Mrs Farnsworth's attention is on CSI: Angeles Bay to take some leftover chicken from the fridge. She heads out to the garden and kneels down at the hole in the hedge. The kitty's gone but Alyssa leaves the chicken there for her anyway.

The first thing Alyssa does when she goes outside the next morning is check if the chicken has been eaten. It has and, even better, the kitty is curled up there too.

But... something's not right. The kitty's tail is folded over her nose like yesterday, but her eyes are dull and glazed and she doesn't purr when Alyssa tickles her ears. Alyssa thinks that if cats could frown, she would be. The kitty looks sick.

Alyssa frowns. Maybe she shouldn't have given the kitty chicken last night. Did she make the kitty sick? If the cat isn't well then she needs to go to a vet. But Mrs Farnsworth won't take the cat to the vet. If she finds out that Alyssa's playing with her again or that she gave her chicken from the fridge, Alyssa will get slapped again.

If the kitty's sick then she needs to see a doc-

Alyssa glances over her shoulder to check that Mrs Farnsworth isn't around. Alyssa knows she shouldn't be – she's gone to Mrs Fitzgerald's to play bingo now that the internet is working again – but after yesterday Alyssa can't be too careful. After encouraging the cat to move out of the way, Alyssa crawls under the hedge. The grass scrapes against her knees and when she dusts herself off she notices the ugly green stains which mar her black tights.

The cat is lying down on the grass. It's as if she doesn't have the energy to stand on her own four legs, so Alyssa carries her to the entrance.

It doesn't take long for someone to emerge from the forensics building, and as luck would have it, the person is just who Alyssa was hoping to see.

Except she doesn't look exactly as Alyssa had expected. The woman's face is _really_ pale. Her red lipstick stands out so much that it almost makes her look like a vampire. The silver-haired woman looks down at Alyssa, her tired blue eyes questioning. "You shouldn't be allowed here," she says sternly but not scarily. "Do you need something?"

"Kitty doesn't seem well," Alyssa tells her._ And neither do you._ "Can you fix her please?"

"A cat? Why are you asking me?"

"Because... because you're a doctor, Miss." Doctors help people, so she could help the cat, right?

"I-" The doctor begins to protest, but then her shoulders slump and she rolls her eyes. "Hand it over." She lifts the cat to face height and looks in her mouth. "It seems she's swallowed something. She'll be fine."

Alyssa grins. "Really?"

"It's common for cats to swallow foreign objects. Still..." The doctor's eyes narrow, her eyebrows furrowed. "Wait here for a moment." She turns to walk away.

"Okay. Thank you, Miss."

The doctor mumbles something Alyssa can't make out before she walks through the door.

All Alyssa has to do now is wait. She takes a seat on the grass over by the tree and looks around. The forensics yard is much bigger than Alyssa had realised from the other side of the hedge. The grass here is neatly trimmed, unlike that in Mrs Farnsworth's garden. The flower bed which runs along the side of the building is full of green and blue and yellow and pink flowers. Nothing in there is brown or dying. Alyssa thinks that her soccer ball wouldn't have been punctured if she'd accidentally kicked her ball into that flower patch.

Here, it looks like someone actually cares. It almost looks happy through here.

Above Alyssa's head, a butterfly flaps its wings. Alyssa follows the path of the black and orange blur from there to the flowerbed to above her head again and then so far away that Alyssa can't see it any more.

Alyssa sighs. Oh well.

"Kitty girl." The doctor crosses the grass, tutting when one of the heels from her brown boots sinks into the mud.

Alyssa scrambles to her feet. When the doctor passes the cat back, Alyssa notices the bloody scratches on her hands. The colour of the blood almost matches the red of the doctor's nail polish. A few specks of paint spill to the skin at the side, as if her hands have been shaking as she applied the polish.

Chloe purrs as Alyssa holds her tightly. She's feeling better.

"She'll be fine," the doctor says. "Just make sure she doesn't eat anything she's not supposed to."

And with that, the doctor rushes off before Alyssa even has a chance to say thanks.

* * *

><p>Today, Mrs Farnsworth's friends are visiting to play poker. As usual, Alyssa will have to get out the house, but that's okay.<p>

There's a knock at the door, and Mrs Cox is the last one of Mrs Farnsworth's friends to arrive. She's a tiny woman with red curly hair. She smiles at Alyssa. "This is the foster kid? Isn't she a sweet one?"

"Yes, she is," Mrs Farnsworth responds, placing her hands on Alyssa's shoulders.

Alyssa tries really hard not to look surprised.

"Now run along, Alyssa," Mrs Farnsworth says kindly. "Try not to disturb us during a game, okay?"

Making her way outside, Alyssa tries to shake off the confusion flowing through her veins. Mrs Farnsworth was actually nice to her. And she even called Alyssa by her real name, instead of 'brat' or 'little shit' or something else equally unpleasant. Alyssa doubts that the niceness will last long after Mrs Farnsworth's friends are gone.

The sun is warm against Alyssa's skin when she steps outside the house. After giving a cautionary look over her shoulder – the coast is clear – Alyssa crawls under the hedge into the forensics garden. This is the perfect opportunity, really. Mrs Farnsworth won't notice that she's gone, and Alyssa still needs to thank the doctor for helping Chloe.

Chloe is the name Alyssa gave to the kitty cat. Every pet should have a name, Alyssa thinks, and Chloe just seemed to suit her. Chloe comes by every day now, and Alyssa is getting much better at avoiding Mrs Farnsworth's disdain.

The first thing Alyssa notices when she stands up in the forensics garden is that the butterfly from the other day is back. She runs over the grass to where it flies above her head. "Hello Mr Butterfly," Alyssa says, jumping up in an attempt to catch it. "I'm Alyssa. What's your name?"

The butterfly soars upwards, far out of Alyssa's reach. When it flies off to the left, Alyssa chases it around the garden.

"Hey, kitty girl. What're you doing? No trespassing."

Alyssa ends her pursuit of the butterfly and swings round in the direction of the voice.

It's the doctor, the one who helped Chloe. She stands on the path, eyeing Alyssa with annoyance.

"Oh, Miss," Alyssa says. "Um, Chloe's better."

"Chloe? Who are you talking about?"

"Chloe's the kitty you helped. Now she comes over to play."

The sternness of the doctor's face softens enough for Alyssa to see a little smile, though she wouldn't be able to tell from the doctor's reluctant tone of voice."Glad to hear it. In any case, you shouldn't be allowed here."

"Hey, Miss. What's your name?" Alyssa enquires.

"Me? I'm Naomi. Naomi Kimishima."

"Okay. Hello N'omi. I'm Alyssa. I live just on the other side of the garden there."

Naomi nods. "I see. That makes us neighbours."

"Yep. So I can come see you anytime I want." That's how being neighbours works, right? Mrs Farnsworth is always going to Mrs Fitzgerald's any time she wants, and the other way around.

Naomi sighs. "Now, Alyssa, this is a place where most people can't go. That's why I need you to –"

"And who's this little princess? Am I intruding?"

Naomi's eyes go wide. She spins around quickly. "Chief?"

Standing behind Naomi is the tall man, the one who always wears the brown suit. It must be time for his coffee.

"Hello, Mister. I'm Alyssa."

Chief chuckles, showing off a big toothy smile. "Hello, Alyssa. I'm David. Mind if I borrow Naomi for just a little bit?"

Alyssa shrugs and smiles. "Okay. N'omi's got work to do, right? I'll be going then." She holds her hands out in a wave. "Bye bye, N'omi. See you later." Alyssa runs off, almost sliding on to her knees to crawl under the hedge.

She probably won't be able to sneak in to the garden later on today. But that's okay, because Mrs Farnsworth will go to the neighbour's for coffee. Alyssa can visit Naomi then.

* * *

><p>Of all the chores Alyssa has to do for Mrs Farnsworth, she hates doing the dishes the most. The water's always too hot and the washing-up liquid makes her hands cracked and itchy. And tonight there are so many more dishes than normal because of all Mrs Farnsworth's friends. It would have been nice if one of them could have helped her, but Mrs Farnsworth's never done anything nice for her. She probably never will either. She won't even co-sign Alyssa's library card which means that Alyssa can't borrow any books.<p>

Alyssa reaches for the dishtowel to dry the last plate, but at the same time her arm brushes against a glass, sending it on a downward trip.

The glass shatters into a thousand pieces on the floor.

There's no time to for Alyssa to even realise what has happened before Mrs Farnsworth has stomped with the grace of a herd of elephants, demanding an explanation. She's far from pleased when she surveys the damage, her face turning red as the blood rushes to it.

Alyssa is scared. "It was an accident. I-"

"You stupid shit." Mrs Farnsworth's arm snaps outwards like a lizard's tongue. Her palm hits against Alyssa's face so hard, it feels like a million tiny needles jagging at her skin.

Alyssa had known the slap was coming. She'd even tried to brace herself for the pain. It didn't help. "Ow," Alyssa bleats.

She's doesn't have time to prepare herself for the backhander that follows.

"Clean this up," Mrs Farnsworth spits. "And don't break anything else, so help you God."

It's only after Mrs Farnsworth leaves the room that Alyssa feels herself shaking like Jell-o. A metallic tang fills her mouth and she realises that her teeth have chomped down on the inside of her mouth hard enough for the skin to break and blood to seep out. She didn't mean to bite her cheek; in fact she can't even remember doing it. That must have happened when Mrs Farnsworth smacked her the second time.

Salt stings against Alyssa's cheek and the tears set her eyes ablaze. Her legs shake underneath her and there's nothing she can do to keep them steady. She reaches for the dustpan and brush and sweeps up the glass, careful not to get herself hurt again.

* * *

><p>Alyssa knows that she shouldn't have sneaked into the forensics building, but she'd been waiting for Naomi all day and she hadn't seen her. Plus she's avoiding Mrs Farnsworth at all costs and there's no way Mrs Farnsworth would ever find her in there.<p>

Honestly, Alyssa hadn't meant to stay in there as long as she had. All she'd planned was to find Naomi to say hi. And maybe tell her what happened when she knocked over the glass. It had been a mistake, an accident. She hadn't meant to do it and she still got a slap.

Is she really a bad kid? Is that why all the other kids have their real moms and Alyssa is in foster care? Alyssa didn't think she was a bad kid, not enough to be slapped. But she must be, though, because Mrs Farnsworth wouldn't have slapped her otherwise. Maybe it's all Alyssa's fault.

Mrs Farnsworth still looked so angry this morning that Alyssa thought the only thing she'd have to do to deserve a slap is breathe.

The inside of the building was so cool. It was so bright and so mysterious and so serious and so fun all at the same time. Alyssa had to hide around corners and behind plant pots like the detective in the cartoon trying to catch the bad guys, but it was really cool to watch everyone work. They all went about with such purpose, all walking along the corridors and in and out of doors like they had some place really important to be. At least Alyssa assumed it was important, because everyone was wearing fancy suits. Alyssa was a little jealous of their nice clothes.

Instead of Naomi, Alyssa had found Little Guy, the person who the doctor sometimes leaves the building with. She was creeping along the corridor when she noticed an open door. She glanced in to the room, recognising Little Guy sitting at his computer. Alyssa knocked on the door, and he didn't hear the knock, Alyssa walked further into the office to ask him where Naomi was.

Little Guy nearly jumped through the roof in fright when Alyssa tapped him on the shoulder.

Now, Alyssa is waiting out in the garden, like Naomi told her. Naomi said she'd find her once she cleared up in her office. She sits on the grass, back resting against the old tree. Her hand touches her cheek where Mrs Farnsworth slapped her. It still hurts.

"Hello, Alyssa."

Alyssa is startled by the voice, thinking that it belonged to Mrs Farnsworth. She grins with relief when she sees the real identity of the person who called on her. "Hey N'omi," she greets. "Was that thing inside the broken clock what you were looking for after all?"

Naomi smiles but her eyes look sad. "Yes, it was. You were a great help in finding it, Alyssa. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

With a sigh, Naomi sits on the grass beside Alyssa. "It's a really nice day today, don't you think?" she asks, looking up at the clear blue sky.

Alyssa nods.

"I hope you like chocolate. I bought you this." Naomi holds out the unmistakable sparkly gold wrapper of a Crunchie bar.

The crease in Alyssa's nose deepens. She hasn't had chocolate in ages and ages and ages. At the orphanage chocolate bars were only bought as a treat for the children if there was enough money – which there never was – and Mrs Farnsworth would never buy Alyssa anything nice. So why would Naomi? "Really?" Alyssa asks.

"Of course."

Though still hesitant, Alyssa takes the chocolate bar. "Thank you, N'omi."

"No need to thank me. It was to say thank you for helping us earlier. How old are you Alyssa?"

"Seven," Alyssa responds, speaking through a mouthful of chocolate and caramel honeycomb. "But I'll be eight next Wednesday."

"Eight," Naomi muses. "That's a... that's a good age. Be sure to enjoy it."

Why would eight a better age than any other? Is it much different from being seven? Alyssa doesn't get it. "How old are you?" she asks Naomi.

"Me? I'm old." Naomi sighs. "I'm thirty-two."

Thirty-two isn't old, Alyssa thinks. Well, it is kind of. But Naomi's not like Mrs Farnsworth with all her wrinkles and the crow's feet at the corners of her eyes. Mrs Farnsworth is definitely old.

"You're not old, N'omi."

Naomi chuckles wryly. "It doesn't feel like that, sometimes."

* * *

><p>It's Wednesday. Alyssa turns eight today. Most kids look forward to their birthday, but not Alyssa. Nobody's ever cared about her birthday, not really. The last time Alyssa got a present was when she lived with her last foster parents. It was a toy pram. Alyssa didn't like it much. She'd really wanted roller skates but they never asked her that. And since three other people had their birthdays on the same week, there was no money for presents from the orphanage.<p>

At least there, they got a cake to share though. Alyssa doesn't expect anything from Mrs Farnsworth. She doesn't think Mrs Farnsworth even knows it's her birthday, and what's the point in telling her otherwise when she doesn't care?

As usual, Mrs Farnsworth is firmly parked in the chair in front of the TV. Jeopardy is showing, and every few seconds Alyssa hears Mrs Farnsworth yell out the answer then curse when she gets it wrong. After Jeopardy will be Weakest Link and then Wheel of Fortune. Once the quiz shows end, Mrs Farnsworth will switch on her computer for online Bingo. Alyssa won't be a blip on her radar until tonight, long after Alyssa has fixed herself dinner.

On her way out, Alyssa stops by the fridge. Chloe deserves some leftover ham. Alyssa puts only a small handful into a plastic sandwich bag. She needs to leave enough for herself to eat tonight. The fridge door closes without a sound. Alyssa's had enough practice of doing this without attracting Mrs Farnsworth's attention.

Picking herself up from crawling under the hedge, Alyssa dusts of her knees. She sees Chloe lying in a shady part of the yard, over by the tree.

"Hello, kitty," Alyssa says to it. "Like some ham?"

Chloe clearly likes her meal. She purrs as Alyssa feeds her and stands her front legs on Alyssa's folded knee as she waits for more ham.

"I see Chloe's a little impatient."

Alyssa looks around. "Hey, N'omi. What's that?" she enquires, glancing at the weird plastic stick that Naomi's holding.

"Well, I happened to stop by the pet store the other day and saw this. I thought you might like it. You can use it to play with Chloe."

Alyssa takes the cat chaser from Naomi. A stuffed toy mouse hangs from the end of the string. "But... why?"

"It is your birthday today isn't it?"

Alyssa's eyes widen. "You remembered?"

"I had a little bird remind me," Naomi smiles.

Alyssa could hug her. Like, really properly hug her. And she's just about to when Naomi's cell phone rings.

With a grumble, Naomi flips the little black device open. "What is it? Okay. I'll be right there."

"Who was that?" Alyssa asks once Naomi hangs up.

"Little Guy," she sighs. "I'm sorry, Alyssa, I have to go."

"It's okay," Alyssa shrugs. "But before you go could you open this for me please?"

"Sure." Once the chaser is unhooked, Naomi hands it back to Alyssa. "Happy birthday, Alyssa," She says. "I hope it's a good one for you."

Alyssa clutches at the plastic stick of the chaser. It is now.

* * *

><p>Of course, Alyssa had to hide the cat chaser Naomi gave her. She keeps it tucked away in her dresser, underneath the dresses that are either too big or too small. Nothing fits quite right, and Alyssa wonders what she'll wear once she's outgrown the Too Big dresses. The chaser is only taken out when Alyssa is sure that Mrs Farnsworth won't notice, like when CSI Angeles Bay is on or when she's fallen asleep in front of the TV. Alyssa doesn't take the chaser out as often as she'd want to. Chloe really likes to play with it too. She runs around like crazy trying to catch the mouse at the end of the string.<p>

Alyssa is washing the dishes again. Since the night she smashed the glass, she's been extra careful not to break anything. She doesn't leave anything near the edge of the counter and the dishtowel is always within much easier reach. Once she's finished drying this last plate, it'll be eleven days since she's broken anything.

"What the hell is this?"

Alyssa is so startled that she nearly drops the plate.

Mrs Farnsworth is standing in the kitchen doorway. She's found the cat chaser that Naomi gave her.

"What is it?"

"I-"

Alyssa can't answer before the plastic of the grip is struck against her back.

"You're still playing with that stupid cat, aren't you?"

Alyssa's hit with it again.

"Where did you get this?"

And again.

"I…I found it."

And again.

And again.

And again.

* * *

><p>Alyssa's body aches when she awakens. Ugly bruises mark her back where the stick connected. They appeared soon after the beating, darkening through the night. The bruises hurt so much that Alyssa cried while in the shower from the pain.<p>

She can't tell anybody what happened to her last night. If she tells anyone what Mrs Farnsworth did to her, it'll just be worse. Mrs Farnsworth will hit her again, probably twice as hard.

Alyssa makes her way out of the house before Mrs Farnsworth is even awake. She stops by the fridge to find food for Chloe, but quickly closes the door, foodless, when she hears a noise coming from upstairs. Maybe it's Mrs Farnsworth getting up. Alyssa listens for the noise that never follows, but decides against taking food from the fridge. Maybe she'll be able to get food for Chloe later.

As she climbs under the hedge, Alyssa thinks about the other kids she lived with in the orphanage. Jennifer. Sarah. Jason. Michael. Do their foster parents hit them too? Maybe the kids with real families were right. Nobody loves a foster kid. Foster kids are bad kids and that's why nobody loves them and they have no friends.

Well, that's not true. Alyssa has friends. She has Naomi and Chloe.

Naomi's not in the yard right now. Chloe is though, and she's trying to catch the butterfly. The cat stands up on her back legs and swipes at it with her front paws. The butterfly flies upwards, just out of Chloe's reach.

Alyssa laughs as Chloe's tail swishes from side to side, getting whooshed harder as the cat becomes more annoyed at the butterfly.

Footsteps crunch against the stones, distracting Chloe from the butterfly. The butterfly chooses this moment to make its escape. Chloe's attention is caught again and she chases after the butterfly.

"Hello, N'omi," Alyssa says. "It's me."

Naomi sighs heavily. "Yes. Hello, Alyssa." Then the space between her eyebrows narrows and she frowns. "What's wrong?"

_Everything_, Alyssa thinks. Instead, she says, "You don't look happy. Did something happen?"

Naomi's shoulders drop and she manages to give a faint smile. "It's nothing. I'm alright."

"Really?" Alyssa asks, raising an eyebrow. "C'mon. I'm your friend. I gotta help you out."

"Thank you. You're a very kind little girl."

"Excuse me," says a voice from behind. It's a deliverywoman with strands of black hair poking out of her green baseball cap. She's holding a large cardboard box. "Can I bother you for a moment?"

"Of course," Naomi responds. "How can I help?"

"Could you please tell me where I could drop a delivery off for Dr Kimishima?"

"I'm Kimishima. I'll take it."

The woman smiles. "Really? Perfect timing. Here's your package." She hands Naomi a sheet of paper. "Could you sign here please?"

"This is pretty low-tech. What happened to the digital pads?"

"I'm sorry, mine is broken right now. Anyway, enjoy your package."

The delivery woman walks the way she came, smiling at Alyssa as she passes.

"Did you get something?" Alyssa asks as Naomi wrestles the box open. "Who's it from?"

"Yes. It's from a friend of mine."

"Look, look Naomi. It's a bigtastic teddy bear! He's so cute."

"That's right. But why would he send me this?"

Naomi lifts the card out of the box, and Alyssa takes the teddy bear.

This teddy bear looks exactly like the teddy bear Alyssa had when she was little. Alyssa used to believe that Benji would keep her safe. He didn't. But this teddy has the same big plastic eyes as he had. His fur is the same colour. This bear is tidier than Benji was though. Benji showed some signs of age, and his fur was rougher in places where Alyssa has spilled something on him. This bear is brand new.

Alyssa hadn't realised how much she missed that teddy bear until just now.

"Brat," Alyssa hears shouted from the other side of the hedge.

Crap. It's Mrs Farnsworth. And she sounds mad.

Without thinking, Alyssa runs as fast as her legs will take her towards the hole in the hedge. If she gets back quickly, maybe Mrs Farnsworth won't hurt her so badly. Alyssa tries to think of a good excuse for why she was in the forensics garden. She saw a butterfly. She was looking for something. It's doesn't matter what Alyssa says though. Mrs Farnsworth will hurt her anyway.

She's still got Naomi's teddy bear. She forgot to give it back before she ran. Now Naomi's going to be mad too. And if Mrs Farnsworth sees the teddy bear, then she'll ask where it came from and then beat her because of it.

Before kneeling to crawl, she tosses it over the hedge. She hopes it lands in the patch of overgrown grass and bushes, and that Mrs Farnsworth doesn't see it. If Alyssa hides the teddy, then tomorrow when Mrs Farnsworth is watching her game shows, Alyssa can take it back to Naomi and say sorry and ask if Naomi will still be her friend even though she accidentally stole the teddy bear.

Alyssa stands up. Oh no, she threw the teddy bear onto the cut grass, near the back door of the house and miles away from where she wanted it to go.

And even worse, Mrs Farnsworth is walking over to it.

Oh no. Alyssa going to get a beating for this.

Mrs Farnsworth leans over and picks up the bear.

Alyssa backs herself towards the hedge.

Mrs Farnsworth looks mad. "Where the he-"

* * *

><p><em>AN: Hey! I apologise for taking so long to update. Universitysport/life hasn't left me much time to even breathe lately._

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter. I hope you enjoy this one._

_Huge huge huge thanks to my beta reader, the lovely Wavebreeze. If you haven't done so already, you should really go and read her stuff. It's much better than anything I write. :)_

_Until next time!_

_-THT_


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